Sunday, August 21, 2016

Happy Birthday, my Angel

Hello, my angel! I brought you cake today, and a rose, and said a prayer for you.

Today, I celebrate your birthday, which would have been the first one for you, my little one. Today would have been the very day that all of my lovedones have gathered--friends, and family alike to celebrate you my little one. You would have had a huge cake, covered in chocolate just as what you would have wanted, with little cupcakes embellished with a smiling photo of you. Your cousins, and your ninangs, ninongs and your titas, and titos, all gathered around you as they sing you a happy birthday song. They would have clapped their hands seeing you were able to blowout your candle.

I bet, you would have looked so beautiful in your red dress or shirt because your parents were a good looking bunch. We would have had so many photos taken together which you would have proudly shown off to all of your classmates and teachers.

All just would haves.

My little one, you left me with a lot of would haves, a lot of what ifs, and a lot of questions left unanswered. And I am saddened that I was not even able to hold you in my arms, fed you when you were hungry, hugged you when you cried.

You were with me for a brief moment in time, and for that short span you made me feel that a Mighty Powerful being was working wonders. You have shown me who God was, and what capabilities God has for you to be given to me. You also validated my worth as a woman, by being able to bear you in my womb.

I am so sorry, my little one. I wasn't perfect. Maybe you deserved more than what I could give you, maybe I did not deserve something God-given and that probably is why you were taken away from me.

You are in a much better place now. And I bet you look so beautiful, my little one. I love you, and I miss you. You are eternally engraved in my heart.

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